A first: A video Torah Thought for Pesach

Hi,

I came across from Rabbi Yechezkel Freundlich this the other day, and want to include it as today's Torah Thought:


חג כשר ושמח,
Mordechai

The ideal age for education

Hi,

"One should always set his heart to supervise his children and be consistent in educating them, whether old or young, but the appropriate time to work at educating them to the fullest is when their minds are developing to fruition, from 16 to 24. Before 16 he does not have sufficient intellect to accept, and after 24 he won't listen that much."

(Rabbi Menachem Meiri, Commentary to Kiddushin 30a)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

The daughter of a Torah scholar

Hi,

"One should sell off everything he owns, if that's what is required in order for him to marry the daughter of a Torah scholar - for then, even if he would die or suffer exile, he could still be certain that his children will become Torah scholars [due to his wife's influence]."

(Talmud, Pesachim 49a)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

A parent's influence

Hi,

"Rabbi Akiva said: A parent determines five traits in his child: Beauty, physical strength, wealth, wisdom and lifespan."

(Talmud, Eduyyot 2:9)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Adoption

Hi,

"One who raises an orphan in his house is viewed by the Torah as though he had birthed him."

(Talmud, Megilah 13a)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Disciplining children

Hi,

"To nibble at sweets, to take pins, a pen, pieces of paper or ribbons, to read a book without the owner's permission, these things - which are properly theft - are often done by children unwittingly. You to whom a childish soul is entrusted must therefore watch over it, accustom it in its small world to justice, and it will surely practice it in the larger world."

(Rav Shimshon Raphael Hirsch, Horeb, paragraph 343)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

A danger of corporal punishment

Hi,

"Only the better student will respond to praise or criticism, and the nature of his response will depend very much on the training and treatment he has received at home. We would certainly be the last to support corporal punishment [in school]; indeed, we would be very much inclined to believe that a teacher who cannot cope with the everyday problems of school life without resorting to physical chastisement is in the wrong profession.

"But [regardless of what is done in school,] if thrashings are the order of the day at home, if the child has become accustomed to take criticism seriously only if he feels it upon his body, if he will listen to verbal admonition only if he sees the rod looming in the background, then the home has deadened the child's sense of morality. Such a child will hardly give his teacher's words of criticism at school the attention they deserve."

(Rav Shimshon Raphael Hirsch, Collected Writings 7:107)

המצפה לישועה,
Mordechai

Parental love

Hi,

Mishlei 13:24 says, "One who spares his rod hates his child, and one who loves his child rebukes him when he is young."

The Malbim comments: "This [declining to punish] shows that his mercy for his son, which makes him unable to observe his son's pain, is more important to him than the benefit for his son. If so, he loves himself more than his son, and he hates his son."

(Malbim to Mishlei 13:24)

המצפה לישועה,
Mordechai

The consequences of inappropriate disciplinary methods

Hi,

"Rebbe's maid saw a man striking his mature son. She said, 'Let him be banned, for violating 'Do not put a stumbling block before the blind.''"

(Talmud, Moed Katan 17a)

המצפה לישועה,
Mordechai

Fear and Parenting

Hi,

"This is an important rule for pedagogy: One should avoid causing a child to have great fear of punishment; such fear can cause deep spiritual harm. The Sages tell of a child who was so intimidated that he cast him himself into a pit! (Semachot 2:4-6)

"Therefore, one who will punish should do so immediately, and not say, 'You'll see what Abba will do when he arrives.' This could cause great fear, shaking the child's world."

(R' Shlomo Aviner, Pirkei Chinuch 16:12)

המצפה לישועה,
Mordechai

Teaching our children moral sensitivity

Hi,

"The task before us is multifaceted. As those who educate towards yirat Shamayim, we must communicate the message of the akeida—boldly, loudly and clearly. On the other hand, as those who do seek to ingrain moral sensitivity in ourselves and in our children, we need not dismiss the ambivalences, the difficulties and contradictions (at the initial level, surely). We need not wish away Avraham’s three days of spiritual groping. We need not dismiss the wrestling and grappling as being a reflection of poor yirat Shamayim, of spiritual shallowness, or of a lack of frumkeit. Inasmuch as goodness itself is an inherent component of frumkeit, the goodness which is at the root of the problems, struggles and tensions is itself part of yirat Shamayim—and a legitimate part. If the sense of moral goodness is legitimate, then the questing and the grappling are also legitimate."

(Rabbi Aharon Lichtenstein, Being Frum and Being Good: On the Relationship Between Religion and Morality, http://www.vbm-torah.org/archive/develop/06develop.htm)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

The sale of Yosef

Hi,

A statement on the cause of our national exile and slavery in Egypt, and a warning to parents:

"Because of the weight of two sela of silk which Yaakov added to Yosef's cloak, the matter developed and our ancestors descended to Egypt."

(Talmud, Megilah 16b)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Of fathers and mothers

Hi,

I just want to take a moment to ask for forgiveness for anything I wrote or said to you, this past year or earlier. Please know that I am sorry; I would not do it on purpose. If you could please take the time to let me know of such mistakes in a constructive way, I would greatly appreciate it. May all of us be blessed with a כתיבה וחתימה טובה, an inscription and sealing for a great year.

Not sure what to make of this, but it raises interesting thoughts:

“It is the manner of a father to be merciful; it is the manner of a mother to offer comfort.”

(Midrash, Yalkut to Tehillim 103)

Note: Sdei Chemed א:כלל צז adds the words “as well” at the end of the sentence – a mother offers both mercy and comfort.

Have a great day,
Mordechai

The limits of vocational education

Hi,

"While, however, this training for earning a living is unquestionably a father's duty, beware of seeing in it the whole of that duty and of thinking that you have done enough if your child is able to keep body and soul together by his own efforts, or even to set up house. Of what use are a living and a home to him if his spirit is unilluminated, if he knows how to make a living but not to live as a Jew?"

(R' Samson Raphael Hirsch, Horeb paragraph 552)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Teach your child a trade

Hi,

"How do we know that a parent is obligated to teach his child a trade? It is written [Ecclesiastes 9], 'See life, with the woman you have loved.'

"Either 'woman' refers to one's spouse, and just as a parent must marry off his child so a parent must teach his child a trade [so that the child will be able to live], or 'woman' refers to Torah, and just as a parent must teach his child Torah so a parent must teach his child a trade [so that the child will be able to live]."

(Talmud, Kiddushin 30b)

Have a great day,
Mordechai