Five sins people overlook

Hi,

[Note: Unlike almost all of our daily Torah Thoughts, this is not a direct translation.]

Hi,

There are five activities for which people are not likely to repent, because people do not view them as transgressions:

1. Participating a meal when the host does not have enough for himself; this is quasi-theft, but people believe this is fine because they have the host's permission;

2. Using a pauper's collateral, which the pauper needs;

3. Gazing at someone with whom sexual relations are prohibited;

4. Receiving honour by looking good in comparison with someone else, causing the other one to be embarrassed and disgraced;

5. Suspecting those who are innocent of wrongdoing.

ומהן חמשה דברים העושה אותן אין חזקתו לשוב מהן, לפי שהם דברים קלים בעיני רוב האדם ונמצא חוטא והוא ידמה שאין זה חטא, ואלו הן: (א) האוכל מסעודה שאינה מספקת לבעליה שזה אבק גזל הוא, והוא מדמה שלא חטא ויאמר כלום אכלתי אלא ברשותו, (ב) המשתמש בעבוטו של עני שהעבוט של עני אינו אלא כגון קורדום ומחרישה ויאמר בלבו אינן חסרים והרי לא גזלתי אותו, (ג) המסתכל בעריות מעלה על דעתו שאין בכך כלום שהוא אומר וכי בעלתי או קרבתי אצלה, והוא אינו יודע שראיית העינים עון גדול שהיא גורמת לגופן של עריות שנאמר ולא תתורו אחרי לבבכם ואחרי עיניכם, (ד) המתכבד בקלון חבירו אומר בלבו שאינו חטא לפי שאין חבירו עומד שם ולא הגיע לו בושת ולא ביישו אלא ערך מעשיו הטובים וחכמתו למול מעשה חבירו או חכמתו כדי שיראה מכללו שהוא מכובד וחבירו בזוי, (ה) והחושד כשרים אומר בלבו שאינו חטא לפי שהוא אומר מה עשיתי לו וכי יש שם אלא חשד שמא עשה או לא עשה והוא אינו יודע שזה עון שמשים אדם כשר בדעתו כבעל עבירה.

(Rambam, Mishneh Torah, Laws of Repentance 4:4)

גמר חתימה טובה,

Mordechai

The punishment for embarrassing others

Hi,

"One who whitens the face of another person [by embarrassing him] in public will not have a share in the next world."

(Talmud, Bava Metzia 58a)

Have a great day,

Mordechai

A worthwhile embarrassment

Hi,

"There was a group of Jewish women who had been taken captive, and Rav Amram Chasida arranged their ransom. They were brought to his house, and he housed them on an upper floor and he had the ladder [to prevent any immorality from men in his household].

"As one of the women was passing by the entrance to the upper floor, light from her beauty illuminated the entrance. Rav Amram took the ladder - which ten men could not have lifted - and began to ascend.

"When he got halfway up, he planted his feet and called out, 'There is a fire in the house of Amram!' The sages came running, and when they arrived they exclaimed, 'You have embarrassed us!' He replied, 'Better for the Yeshiva of Amram to be embarrassed in this world than for you to be embarrassed from me in the next world.'"

(Talmud, Kiddushin 81a)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Dama ben Netina and his mother

Hi,


A talmudic illustration of proper honour for one's parents:

"Rav Dimi reported that once Dama ben Netina was wearing a golden garment and sitting among the Roman aristocrats, and his mother came and tore off his garment, slapped him on the head and spat in his face. He did not embarrass her."

(Talmud, Kiddushin 31a)

המצפה לישועה,
Mordechai

Don't embarrass your rebbe

Hi,

Mishlei 23:1-3 says, "When you sit down to eat with a ruler, contemplate that which is before you. Place a knife to your throat if you are a person of great hunger. Do not desire his delicacies; they are the bread of deceit."

"If a student knows that his mentor will be able to answer his question with insight, then 'Contemplate'.

"If not, 'Contemplate that which is before you [independently, rather than embarrass him], and place a knife to your throat [rather than ask and embarrass him].

"'If you are a person of great hunger' [to ask your question], leave that mentor."

(Talmud, Chullin 6a)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

The importance of sensitivity to shame

Hi,

"The trait of bushah [sensitivity to shame] is a fence and iron barrier before all sin, for people violate many laws in private, with actions for which they would be ashamed in front of others."

(Orchot Tzaddikim, Shaar haBushah)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

The importance of a sense of shame

Hi,

“One who lacks a sense of shame will sin easily, as it is written (Yeshayah 3:9), ‘That which is recognizable on their faces testifies about them.’ One who has a sense of shame will not sin easily, as it is written (Shemot 20:16), ‘And so that awe of Him will be upon your faces, lest you sin.”

(Masechet Derech Eretz, Arayot 13)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

The goal of praying silently

Hi,

"Why did they enact silent prayer? So as not to embarrass those who have sinned [and are admitting it in their prayer], just as the Torah did not assign separate locations for those who bring sin-offerings and burnt-offerings [so as not to explicitly identify those who bring sin-offerings for atonement in the Beit haMikdash]."

(Talmud, Sotah 32b)

May we be inscribed and sealed for a great year,
Mordechai

Rebuke in private

Hi,

"When one person sins against another, and the other rebukes him in private, then he can apologize, and the offended party can accept his apology and make peace with him."

(Sefer haChinuch 239)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Punishment for embarrassing an animal

Hi,

"Lest one say that Gd only punishes for the shame of the righteous and not that of the wicked, we have found that He punishes for the shame of the wicked; there was no hater of Gd and hater of Israel like Edom, and yet Gd punished for his shame, as it is written, 'For the three sins of Moav... For burning the bones of the king of Edom into lime.'

"And He punished Moav measure for measure: They burned with fire and so it said, ‘I will send fire against Moav.’ They burned the king, and so it said, ‘I will cut off the judges from her midst and kill all of her officers.’ We find that He punishes even the shame of the wicked.

"Not only that - He even punishes for the shame of an animal, as it is written, 'Why did you hit your donkey?' Gd did not come to punish Bilam for taking an opposing path, but for striking his donkey."

(Rabbi Yaakov Skili, Torat haMinchah to Parshat Ki Tetze)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Three unforgiveable sins

Hi,

"All who descend to Gehennom [Hell] also ascend, except three: One who lives with another’s wife, one who embarrasses another in public, and one who creates a negative nickname for another."

(Talmud, Bava Metzia 58b)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Embarrassing others

Hi,

"It would be better for a person to hurl himself into a fiery furnace than to embarrass another in public."

(Talmud, Bava Metzia 59a)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Embarrassment, as punishment

Hi,

Note for the following thought: The words shame, embarrassment and humiliation are loaded words, both culturally and personally. I use "shame" in the translation here because it's the dictionary definition of the Hebrew, but I'm not sure that I would understand it in its American sense in the following lines.

"The Midrash (Yalkut on Tehillim 6) says: 'Gd only curses the wicked by shaming them for their deeds, as it is written, 'They will be greatly shamed and upset.'

"This is because there is greater benefit and educational rebuke in feeling ashamed than in other forms of punishment."

(R' Chaim Shmuelevitz, Sichot Mussar, Miketz 5732)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

True strength?

Hi,

[I'm not sure whether my insertion of 'even' below is correct, or not. It depends on your philosophical approach to suffering.]

"Regarding those who embarrassed by others but do not embarrass others, who hear their shame and do not reply, perform [mitzvot] out of love and are joyous [even] in suffering, it is written [Judges 5], 'Those who love Him are like the emerging Sun in its strength.'"

(Talmud, Gittin 36b)

Have a great day,
Mordechai