Character giveaways

Hi,

"Rabbi Ila'i said: A person's character may be seen in three ways: How he handles his drink, how he deals with others in business, and whether he is quick to anger.

"Some add: Also by what makes him laugh."

(Talmud, Eruvin 65b)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Patience!

Hi,

"A person of anger will stir up litigation; a person of patience will silence quarrels."

(Mishlei [Proverbs] 15:18)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Addictive sins

Hi,

"Five behaviours draw a person perpetually, and separating from them is difficult. Therefore, one must be careful of them, lest he become attached to them. All of them involve very bad traits. They are:

"Tale-bearing;

Speaking harmfully of others;

Anger;

Thinking negatively of others [and as some explain, plotting to harm them];

Joining the wicked, such that one learns from his deeds and they are engraved upon his heart…"

ומהן חמשה דברים העושה אותם ימשך אחריהם תמיד וקשים הם לפרוש מהן, לפיכך צריך אדם להזהר מהן שמא ידבק בהן והן כולן דעות רעות עד מאד, ואלו הן: רכילות ולשון הרע ובעל חימה ובעל מחשבה רעה והמתחבר לרשע מפני שהוא לומד ממעשיו והן נרשמים בלבו, הוא שאמר שלמה ורועה כסילים ירוע, וכבר בארנו בהלכות דעות דברים שצריך כל אדם לנהוג בהן תמיד קל וחומר לבעל תשובה. 

(Rambam, Mishneh Torah, Laws of Repentance 4:5)

גמר חתימה טובה,

Mordechai

48 Ways: #22 - A long temper

Hi,

Pirkei Avot 6:5 teaches that Torah is acquired in 48 ways, which it lists for us. The twenty-second of the 48 is erech apayim - having a long temper.

There are many evident advantages to patience, personally and in society and in one's learning. Regarding this last category, on a very practical level, one who has a fiery temper is more apt to be distracted from his studies by personal issues and will have a harder time finding good mentoring and chavruta relationships.

Rabbeinu Bechayye notes an additional problem, though: We are taught that anger causes a person to forget his learning; see Rashi to Bamidbar 31:21, for example, stating that Moshe's moments of rage caused him to forget that which he knew. This may be explained naturally; in the learning stage our anger and stress deny us the focus needed to develop memories, and in the recall stage these same phenomena turn our mind away from tracking down those connections, and can also cause us to lose patience with the whole process of learning.

Have a great day,
Mordechai

The price of rage

Hi,

"R' Mani bar Patish taught: If a person gets angry, then even if Gd had selected him for greatness, he will be removed from that great position."

(Talmud, Pesachim 66b)

Have a great day,

Mordechai

The mark of a Torah scholar

Hi,

A Torah scholar is recognizable by four traits:
a. His expenditures;
b. His temper;
c. His drinking;
d. His cloak.

Some add: His speech.

(Derech Eretz Zuta 5)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Anger management

Hi,

"A person [who suffers from attacks of anger] might not have any flaw in his trait of anger, but in his trait of arrogance, such that all others appear as monkeys to him and so he yells at and degrades them.

"Such a person might spend his entire life working on improving his anger management unsuccessfully; might a person who has no anger issues not shout at, and even strike, a monkey or donkey on occasion?

"Were he to examine and come to the kernel of his anger and see that the cause is actually his arrogance, and so repair his arrogance, then he would be healed."

(R' Klonymus Kalman Schapira, Bnei Machshavah Tovah, Seder Hadrachah uKlalim 8)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

The pain of anger

Hi,

"One who grows angry is subject to all manner of Gehennom (Hell), as it is written (Kohelet 11), 'Remove anger from your heart, and you will remove evil from your flesh.'"

(Talmud, Nedarim 22a)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Misplaced rage

Hi,

"The foolishness of a person warps his path, but his heart rages at Gd."

(Mishlei 19:3)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

The victim of anger

Hi,

"Anger is bad for the angry person, himself... There is no greater harm for a person than being angry, as the Sages point out (Talmud, Nedarim 22a) that anger causes a person to forget his Torah knowledge and to become foolish, and it causes many more negative results as well."

(Comment of Maharal to Avot 2:10)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Be gentle

Hi,

"Raveina said: One must train himself in gentle behavior, as it is written [Ecclesiastes 11], 'Remove anger from your heart.'"

(Talmud, Taanit 4a)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Anger and Humility

Hi,


"Do not maintain your anger at another person, even for a day. Humble yourself before him, to be the first to request forgiveness."

(Orchot Chaim of the Rosh, #62)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Sometimes, a sharp response is necessary

Hi,

"Be not sweet, lest they swallow you up."

(Rabbeinu Yonah to Pirkei Avot 5:11)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

What anger indicates

Hi,

When a person is angry, even Gd is not important to him, as it is written…
When a person is angry, he forgets his learning and increases his foolishness, as it is written…
When a person is angry, it is a sign that his sins are greater than his merits, as it is written…

(Talmud, Nedarim 22b)

Have a good day,
Mordechai

Anger management

Hi,

"There are four types of personalities:

a) One who is easy to anger and easy to calm - he cancels his gain with his loss,

b) One who is difficult to anger and difficult to calm - he cancels his loss with his gain,

c) One who is hard to anger and easy to calm - this is pious,

d) One who is easy to anger and hard to calm - this is wicked."

(Pirkei Avot 5:11)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Keys to long life

Hi,

"Rabbi Nechunyah ben Hakanah's students asked him: How did you merit long life?

"He replied: I never accepted honor at the expense of another person's honor, I never went to bed upset at someone else's curse (against me), and I was forgiving with my money."

(Talmud, Megilah 28a)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Those who are beloved to Gd

Hi,

"There are three types of people who are beloved to Gd:

"One who does not get angry,
One who does not get drunk, and
One who does not insist on receiving the reward he deserves."

(Talmud, Pesachim 113b)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Patience and Anger

Hi,

"A man of anger will stir up litigation; a person of patience will silence quarrels."

(Proverbs 15:18)

Have a good day,
Mordechai

The dangers of mercy, anger and hypersensitivity

Hi,

"There are three types of people whose lives are not true lives: Overly merciful people, angry people, and hyper-sensitive people."

(Talmud, Pesachim 113a)

[Note: Rashbam adds that 'overly']

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Speak gently

Hi,


"Accustom yourself to utter all of your words gently when speaking with anyone, at any time, and so you will be saved from anger - a bad trait which causes people to sin."

(Iggeret haRamban)

Have a great day,
Mordechai