Saturday, January 4, 2014

How to respond, or not respond, to verbal abuse


"Should an abuser compel one to respond, it would be appropriate for a wise person to respond pleasantly, without great rage, for rage rests in the bosom of fools (Kohelet 7:9). One should apologize to those who hear his insults, placing the burden upon the abuser; this is the way of good people… 

"However, the piety of some people is so great that they do not wish to put themselves in this halachic category [permitting] responding to their abusers, lest their anger build and spread inappropriately. Regarding them the sages have said (Shabbat 88b), 'Those who are shamed and do not shame, who hear their insults and do not respond – upon them Shoftim 5:31 says, 'Those who love Him are like the Sun's ermergence, in its strength.''"

(Sefer haChinuch 338)

Have a great day,

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