Surviving a family curse through torah and generosity

Hi,

An interesting passage with all sorts of lessons, in terms of virtue, in terms of collective family responsibility and in terms of predestination:

[Note: The family of Eli the Kohen was punished by Gd, that all of their descendants would perish in their youth. For more on this, see the beginning of Samuel I.]

"Abbaye and Rabbah both came from the family of Eli. Rabbah, who involved himself especially in Torah study, lived to be 40 years old. Abbaye, who involved himself especially in Torah study and acts of generosity, lived to be 60 years old."

(Talmud, Rosh HaShanah 18a)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Torah Thought - 3/31

Hi,

"Try to master yourself in small and easy things, even in permitted things, and self-command will soon become easy to you even in difficult and big things, and even against sins to which you have been long habituated."

(R' Samson Raphael Hirsch, Horeb, paragraph 518)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Repentance for theft

Hi,

"One who steals from another person, even that which is worth only a perutah [a minimal coin], is as though he was taking that person's life, as it is written (Proverbs 1:19), 'So are the ways of everyone who steals wealth; he takes away the life of its owners.'

"However, if the stolen item is no longer around, and the thief wishes to repent, and he comes to return the value of the stolen item, the sages enacted that one should not accept it from him. Rather, one should help him and forgive him, in order to bring the straight path closer to those who repent. The sages were not pleased with one who accepts the value of the stolen item back."

(Rambam, Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Gezeilah 1:13)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Miserable perfection

Hi,

"If I were to choose a single character defect that causes people more misery than any other, it would be the inability to admit a mistake."

(Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski, 60 Days for 60 Years: Israel pg. 45)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Human potential

Hi,

On the awe-inspiring spiritual potential of a human being:

"When Gd created Adam, the ministering angels wished to recite, 'Holy, holy, holy' before him."

(Midrash, Bereishit Rabbah 8:10)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

The importance of paying employees on time

Hi,

On the importance of paying employees in a timely manner, regardless of the amount of money involved:

"Rav Asi taught: Even if one hires a person only to harvest one bunch of grapes, [and he holds the wages,] he has trespassed against 'Do not keep the salary of a laborer with you until morning.'"

(Talmud, Bava Metzia 111b)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Torah Thought - 3/25

Hi,

"Death is the crisis of life. How a man handles death indicates a great deal about how he approaches life. As there is a Jewish way of life, there is a Jewish way of death.

"As the Jewish way of life implies a distinctive outlook and a unique life-style based on very specific views of Gd and the place of man in society and the universe, so does the Jewish way of death imply singular attitudes toward Gd and nature, and toward the problem of good and evil; and it proffers a distinctive way of demonstrating specific Jewish qualities of reverence for man and respect for the dead."

(R' Maurice Lamm, The Jewish Way in Death and Mourning, Introduction)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

True strength?

Hi,

[I'm not sure whether my insertion of 'even' below is correct, or not. It depends on your philosophical approach to suffering.]

"Regarding those who embarrassed by others but do not embarrass others, who hear their shame and do not reply, perform [mitzvot] out of love and are joyous [even] in suffering, it is written [Judges 5], 'Those who love Him are like the emerging Sun in its strength.'"

(Talmud, Gittin 36b)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Chuppah under the stars

Hi,

It's interesting to note the tension in Judaism between our biblical opposition to superstition and omen-reading, and our love of 'good signs' and their psychological benefits.

"Some say we should hold the chuppah under the heavens, as a good sign that the couple's children should be as the stars in the heavens."

(Rama, Shulchan Aruch Even haEzer 61:3)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Priority for Purim: Helping others

Hi,

"It would be best for a person to increase his gifts to the poor, rather than increase his feast or his sending portions to friends, for there is no greater or more splendid joy than to gladden the hearts of the needy, orphans, widows and strangers.

"One who gladdens the heart of these forlorn is likened to the Shechinah, as it is written (regarding what Gd does), 'To rejuvenate the spirit of the low, and to rejuvenate the heart of the depressed.'"

(Rambam, Mishneh Torah, Laws of Megilah 3:17)

Have a great Purim,
Mordechai

Mordechai's Popularity

Hi,

"For Mordechai the Jew was second to the king, and a great person for the Jews, and favored by most of his brethren."

(Esther 10:3)

Esther's Megilah is ever a source of wisdom - even after playing a key role in saving the entire Jewish nation from death, the best Mordechai could do was to be "favored by most of his brethren!"

Have a great Purim,
Mordechai

Giving alcohol to minors on Purim

Hi,

One more note related to the Purim meal:

In today's earlier email I discussed the use of alcohol to enhance one's joy at the Purim feast.

I must stress something obvious: People should not give alcohol to minors to drink on Purim. It is not necessary for their fulfillment of any Mitzvah, and it is a foolish and dangerous practice.
I would also add that it would be better for adults not to drink on Purim with young children present, as even that may be misunderstood by those children.

The finest joy is joy which centers around a Mitzvah, and this is the essence of Purim - 4 Mitzvot (Megilah, Sending Gifts of Food, Giving to the Poor and having a Feast) which are about experiencing joy and spreading joy.

For more on this theme see Shaarei Teshuvah of Rav Chaim Margaliyot, Orach Chaim 697:2.

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Celebrating Shabbat when Friday is Purim

Hi,

For today I will crib off of myself, using an article I wrote in the Sons of Israel bulletin three years ago, on the issues faced when Purim occurs on a Friday and one wishes to celebrate Purim properly, with a big feast. (I am also posting the article on-line here.)

I include the article as a "Daily Torah Thought" because of what it teaches us about honoring Shabbat and celebrating Purim, and working out the priorities of mitzvot.


Purim vs. Shabbat? A Seudah Showdown
Tonight is your daughter’s eagerly anticipated return from a year of study abroad. You’ve prepared her favorite meal, spending hours in the kitchen to make sure all of the dishes will be perfect. You’ve even set the table with the finest silver, dressed in your best clothes, invited friends and relatives, decorated the house with pictures of your daughter and hung welcoming banners, all to make sure the atmosphere conveys your enthusiasm for her presence.

The hour arrives, there’s a knock at the door, you rush to the door to open it… and there she stands in a dirty sweatshirt, munching on a hot dog, relish spilling on to her fingers. “Hey,” she says, with a shrug, perhaps even a small burp. “What’s up?”

The “Homecoming” is Shabbos. The meal is our Friday night dinner, complete with fine food, beautiful clothes, honored guests and a beautiful home. The callous girl with the hot dog relish – that could be us, on any given Shabbos, if we were to make the mistake of sitting down to a big meal on Friday afternoon, before the start of Shabbos. Therefore, our Sages have taught us that in order to make sure we honor Shabbos properly, we should refrain from eating large meals on Friday afternoon (Pesachim 99b).

The idea is simple: Make sure that we will enjoy the Shabbos dinner, by waiting to eat until Shabbos is here.

There is one problem, though. This year, Purim occurs on a Friday, and Purim brings with it a Mitzvah of eating a Purim Seudah (feast). How can we eat our Purim feast, and still retain our hunger for the Shabbos meal that night? Must we sacrifice Purim for Shabbos, or Shabbos for Purim?

Two Acceptable Solutions
There are two halachic approaches to this dilemma:

1. Begin the Purim Seudah on Purim morning, before midday.
Midday is calculated as the midpoint between sunrise and sunset; this year, in Allentown, midday on Purim will be 1:09 PM (EDT). If one starts the Purim Seudah before midday, that still allows enough time to eat the meal, celebrate Purim, and then spend several hours building up an appetite for Shabbos. This approach is recommended by the Rama, Rabbi Moshe Isserles, the Ashkenazi author in the Code of Jewish Law (Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 695:2).

It is true that in a normal year we eat our Purim Seudah in the afternoon, but that’s a matter of convenience, in order to save the morning for delivering Mishloach Manot (Mishneh Berurah 695:8). There is no halachic reason to wait for the afternoon. Some authorities actually praise the practice of having the Seudah in the morning every year (cited in Mishneh Berurah 695:9).

The only real problem with this solution is the issue of practicality. People who go to work on Friday may not be able to enjoy a true Purim Seudah in the cubicle; in its ideal form, the Seudah involves a dressed-up family seated around a fully appointed table, singing Purim songs and talking about the holiday – not a quick deli sandwich scarfed down in front of a computer screen in between conference calls.

This practical problem leads to the proposal of a second solution:

2. The pores mappah solution.
Under “pores mappah,” an idea put forth talmudically (Pesachim 100a), one may begin his meal shortly before Candle Lighting time (which is 6:57 PM in Allentown this year).

At or before the time for candle lighting, one lights Shabbos candles, covers all bread, cake and/or cookies, recites Kiddush, and continues the meal as the Shabbos dinner. After the meal one davens Kabbalas Shabbos and Maariv. The term “pores mappah” means “spread a cloth,” referring to covering the food while reciting Kiddush.

This method reduces the disgrace to Shabbos, since one eats the Shabbos meal with a decent appetite. On the other hand, the Purim meal is a nice meal, with everyone home from work, dressed nicely and according the feast the honor it deserves.

This method does suffer from a few problems, though:
(A) Drinking: We are taught that as part of celebrating the ultimate joy of having our lives saved on Purim, we are supposed to imbibe alcohol at the Purim Seudah and reach the state in which we cannot tell the difference between “Cursed is Haman” and “Blessed is Mordechai” (Megilah 7b). Authorities differ on how much to drink, but it is clear that one who is not medically unable to drink, and who has a designated driver, should drink some alcohol - preferably enough that he feels lightheaded (Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 695:2).

In a normal year, one may enjoy his Seudah, drink a little, and then sleep off the effects of the alcohol. Having a midday meal works for this issue, too. But if one drinks at a pores mappah meal, will he be able to coherently and respectfully daven Kabbalas Shabbos and Maariv afterward, not to mention have an appropriate Shabbos dinner?

Further, many people – myself included – have embraced the practice of drinking minimally at the Purim Seudah and then fulfilling the state of intoxication by taking a nap after the meal. This is an approach sanctioned by the Rama (Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 695:2). However, if one uses the pores mappah method then he doesn’t have any after-Seudah time to nap; by the time the Seudah is over, Purim is over as well.

(B) A second problem is that the way the pores mapah solution is presented in the Gemara and in the Code of Jewish Law (Orach Chaim 271:4), it does not seem to be an ideal, recommended, l’Chatchilah practice. It sounds more like something to be done when one has no other choice.

(C) A third problem arises in negotiating the specifics of the pores mappah meal itself. Does one include Al haNissim when reciting Birkat haMazon after the meal? Should one perhaps recite Birkat haMazon after the first part of the meal, and then act as though the second half is entirely a new meal? Does one cover only bread and cake during Kiddush, or other items as well? We do have practical guidelines for navigating these issues – but there are great debates involved, with big names on all sides.

The Communal Seudah
Although the pores mappah solution is intriguing, the communal Seudah at Congregation Sons of Israel will follow the first approach, that recommended by the Rama, by beginning before midday. We are bolstered by the views cited earlier, who believe that the Seudah should be a morning meal every year. Further, this will allow those who drink at their Seudah to fulfill the Mitzvos of both Shabbos and Purim properly.

We will enjoy a great meal of spaghetti and meatballs, starting at Noon, after which I will gladly go home and take a nap for as long as Amram, Meira, Rena and Aharon will permit. Join us for the meal, and let’s celebrate Purim together!

Our Purim Joy

Hi,

On Purim:

"As physical life was threatened here and physical life saved, so, apart from the public recital of the story handed down to us perpetuating the event, Purim stresses the enjoyment of festivities, mutual gifts and consideration for our poorer brethren.

"Together with this we should joyfully remember how our life was given to us again, and in this feeling of joy we should each revive the spirit of our common brotherhood and give it greater scope by bringing cheer to our less fortunate ones."

(R' Shimshon Raphael Hirsch, Horeb, paragraph 247)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Change your mind

Hi,

Regarding changing one's mind, when one had intended to withhold aid from others, or to harm them:

"This is the rule for a good person: He recants and nullifies his own [negative] view in the face of the opinion of others based on the needs of the moment, and he is appeased by the requests of others."

(R' Eliezer Papo, Pele Yoetz, "Hen Tzedek")

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Almost all is in the hands of Heaven

Hi,

"Rabbi Chanina said: All is in the hands of Heaven, except awe of Heaven, as it is written (Deuteronomy 10), 'Now, Israel, what does Gd ask of you other than to have awe of Him...'"

(Talmud, Niddah 16b)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Torah Thought - 3/14

Hi,

[The Talmud draws the following well-known lesson from the Torah's odd use of the term 'built' where 'made' would have been more lexically appropriate.]

"It is written, 'And Gd built [ויבן] the side He had taken from the man, into a woman.' This teaches that HaShem placed greater understanding [בינה] into a woman than into a man."

(Talmud, Niddah 45b)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Do not delay!

Hi,

"Do not be weak about performing a mitzvah which comes to hand; do it for the sake of Heaven, without delay."

(Orchot Chaim, Rabbeinu Asher, #53)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Ulterior motives

Hi,


"Rav said: One should always involve himself in mitzvot, even for ulterior motives, for as a result of doing them for ulterior motives he will come to do them for their own sake."

(Talmud, Nazir 23b)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Want to be humble? Avoid flatterers

Hi,

"Another way to dimish one's humility is to associate with, or make use of, people who flatter. They steal his heart with their flattery, praising him and exalting him so that he will be good to them."

(R' Moshe Chaim Luzzatto, Mesilat Yesharim, Chapter 23)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Choosing a vocation

Hi,

Here's a message that seems to be about livelihood. I think it's also about mazal and taking control of one's life, though:

"It's impossible for the world to survive without perfumers and without tanners. Fortunate is one whose trade is in perfume, woe is one whose trade is in tanning."

(Talmud, Kiddushin 82b)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

How Judaism survives in exile

Hi,

"Were it not for the nourishment it receives from the dew-of-life of the sanctity of the land of Israel, Judaism in exile would really have no actual basis - only vision of the heart, founded on pictures of hope and rare reflection, of the future and the past. However, there is a limit to the power of this imaging to carry the vision of life and pave a way for the life of the people, and it would seem that this quota has already been filled. Therefore, Judaism in exile foes down drastically, and there is no hope for it other than planting it in the source of life, real life, of essential holiness, which may be found only in the Land of Israel."

(Rav Avraham Yitzchak haKohen Kook, Orot haTechiyah paragraph 8, Naor translation)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Torah Thought - 3/7

Hi,

"Rav Natan bar Abba said, citing Rav: One who jealously scouts the table of others, lives in a world of darkness, as it is written (Job 15), 'He wanders for bread - where is it? He knows that the day of darkness is ready at hand.'

"Rav Chisda added: His life is not life."

(Talmud, Beitzah 32b)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Master yourself!

Hi,

"One who wishes to eat his meals with full peace and rest and to sleep without disruption, who refuses to walk if not at his own leisure, and similar behaviors, will find it difficult to rise early to synagogue in the morning, or to shorten his meal for the Minchah prayer in the afternoon, or to go engage in a mitzvah if it is not the ideal time, or certainnly to hurry himself for a mitzvah pursuit or for Torah study.

"One who accustoms himself to such behaviors is not a master of himself, free to do the opposite if he should so choose, for his will is already imprisoned in the prison of habit, which becomes second nature."

(R' Moshe Chaim Luzzatto, Mesilat Yesharim, Chapter 9)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Torah Thought - 3/5

Hi,

"Never forget this: From the greatest to the smallest not a particle of strength or wealth is given to you alone, but is vested in you, and through you is available to all who have need of your strength or your wealth."

(R' Shimshon Raphael Hirsch, Horeb, paragraph 563)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

The dangers of mercy, anger and hypersensitivity

Hi,

"There are three types of people whose lives are not true lives: Overly merciful people, angry people, and hyper-sensitive people."

(Talmud, Pesachim 113a)

[Note: Rashbam adds that 'overly']

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Torah Thought - 3/3

Hi,

"It is written (Deuteronomy 13), 'And Gd will give you mercy, and have mercy upon you.'

"From this we see that if a person is merciful upon others, it is known that he is a descendant of our ancestor Avraham. If he is not merciful upon others, it is known that he is not a descendant of our ancestor Avraham."

(Talmud, Beitzah 32b)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Advice for life

Hi,

"They sent a message from Israel: Be careful to bathe and launder, be careful to learn Torah in groups, and be careful for children of paupers, from whom Torah will come, as it is written..."

(Talmud, Nedarim 81a)

Have a great day,
Mordechai